How do you go about purchasing the perfect anniversary gift for your husband? I’ll tell you.

But first, let me preface it with a quick personal story.

I didn’t buy my wife a ring. Well, at least not before the wedding. Here’s what happened.

We had a budget for the wedding. And as is the case with most weddings, the costs far exceeded the budget. So I had to make some cuts. I should’ve got a cheaper photographer. Or a cheaper DJ. Because both of those suppliers were really crappy. But I instead paid for everything and left out the rings.

My fiancé was heartbroken.

As daft as it may sound, I didn’t see it coming. And by it, I mean her disappointment. We men can be very emotionally stunted sometimes.

Why was she upset?

Because my actions showed I had chosen those suppliers over her. Something I doubt I would have forgiven had it been the other way round.

Long story short, we agreed to buy fake rings for the wedding. Then the following week I spent my entire business revenues on buying the rings.

Because I understood my mistake. I understood that actions speak louder than words. Anyone can say the words “I love you.” But not everyone will sacrifice and put their money where their mouth is.

What does this have to do with the best anniversary gift for your husband you ask?

Here’s the thing. Your purchase will tell him more than any words that could ever come out of your mouth.

If you’re earning over Kshs. 100,000 a month and you get him socks, that may end up feeling disrespectful and thoughtless to him. Whichever way you spin it. Gift-giving can be hard, I know. They say it’s the thought that counts. But in truth, it’s the sacrifice that counts. Because human beings are not ignorant about emotional issues. They can tell when they’re being dealt the short end of the stick.

You’ve got to go with something well thought out. And here’s 2 ways you can do it.

1. Watch him closely and get him something you know for a fact he’ll like.

Does he love electronics and gadgets? Do your research on the one he’s coveting and save up for it. Does he like to dress up in fancy jackets? Get your king the best of the best.

Two things are bound to happen.

• First, he will outshine his peers.
• Secondly, those same peers will marvel at just how well you, his wife, are taking care of him.

Whatever the case may be, please do your research on him first. A big mistake we all tend to make with gift-giving is getting the person what we think is best for them, rather than what they truly desire. Try your level best to understand him. Understands what he really wants. And focus only on that. The time you spend trying to understand him better will also lead to a better relationship. And that’s a wonderful side effect to have.

Alternatively, if you are extremely busy, you could go with option number 2.

2. Hire a personal shopper.

Personal shoppers are a real asset. They are essentially the wedding planners of gift-giving. If you’ve ever planned a wedding on your own you know how difficult it can be. Wedding planners lighten your load tremendously. And personal shoppers do the exact same thing by offering a few major advantages.

• They already have a database of trusted vendors they’ve built over the years so you do not have to worry about quality control issues.
• Their experience within the gifting industry means they are quite likely to understand exactly what would make your husband feel loved and cherished.
• They do for you all the hard work of driving around and gift shopping on your behalf. This frees you up of the hassle and stress of gift shopping. And we all know what they say about a happy wife.

I’ve had lovely experiences with gift shoppers. My personal favorite was Zuida’s Bow Gift Boutique, whom I discovered through a newspaper article. If I had to list all of Zuida’s good traits we’d be here for 48 hours straight. Therefore I won’t go into detail within this article. However, if you’re looking to gift shop for your man and have no clue where to start, I’d definitely recommend them.

So there you have it, ladies. If his love languages are acts of service or receiving gifts, then as his woman you’ve got to feed him the fuel he needs. It’s part of the reason you’re the best wife in the world.

So please don’t make the same mistake I made. Make it good. And make it count.

Celebrate your love with the respect and sacrifice it truly deserves.

Cheers and God bless.

The holidays are here with us and they are times to celebrate and have fun with family and loved ones. Traditions come to life and good times are to be had by all. But what happens after you have tied the knot and now the two families are forced to become one during the holidays?

A milestone in any romantic relationship is your first holiday together and making new memories to share in the years to come. Yet each individual has their own family and friends, along with customs and traditions that are near and dear to their heart.

Now, conversations and compromises are in order. To help things go smoothly and avoid any holiday tension, here are some of the things you must do to keep the peace.

Communication is Key

It may seem like a now issue, but handling how to split the holidays can actually affect your relationship in the years to come. So if you find yourselves arguing or intentionally avoiding the uncomfortable task of planning how to spend the season, you’ll want to think again.

To start, recognize that while you each are forging a path for the future together, you both come from equally important families that may or may not have special traditions and you cant expect one another to simply leave them behind. Instead, find a balance.

A Learning Process

Whether your backgrounds are alike or similar, familiarize yourself with holiday customs, traditions, and recipes from each side. You may find that some lend themselves and this may ease in the compromises.

In most instances, people find themselves with a partner who was raised very similarly or perhaps very differently. We might have become attracted to and married someone with a very different background and initially felt eager to learn about that but when the holidays approach, we might find ourselves under more pressure from our own families and our partners for how to make this all come together.

If you have never missed Christmas Eve away from your parents’ house, but for your partner, the importance is more on the Christmas Day problem solved. If, however, you both feel strongly about a specific day, it may be time to rotate, split the day if distance allows, or forge ahead with an entirely new experience of your own.

Regardless of having to hammer out the details, the number one most important thing to keep in mind is that you should really be handling the holidays together. The worst thing that can happen is when one person decides it is all too much bother and too much work and says they will go on their own to see their own family. Doing so does not send the message to each other or to the respective families that the couple is in this together.

How to Find Solutions

What works for one couple may not work for you, but remember that there is always a solution.

Its also important to remember that whatever course of action you take this year does not dictate the future, nor does it set in stone how to proceed for every holiday season to come. Instead, view it as a trial and error experience. As a new couple, it is good to give yourselves the flexibility to borrow what works and then tweak and create brand new special traditions.

Keep in mind the reason for the season, after all when you feel that you are getting tense or stressed. Always remember that love, kindness, and gratitude should be the driving force behind the holidays.

And don’t forget about self-care. During the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, it’s important to take time for yourselves as a couple, too. While it’s easy to get lost in holiday plans and family gatherings, be sure to prioritize time dedicated to enjoying the new family you are creating together. This may involve going on a day trip somewhere new, going into nature, or taking a yoga class together.

It all boils down to compromise, communication, and honesty. Handling the holidays gently, firmly, kindly, and fairly for each other and in relation to each person’s family of origin goes a long way.

Practicing these skills now is also great practice for the future for example when couples may go on to have children and will juggle demands for attention from grandparents and extended family and will need to set boundaries.

Its all part of the beautiful growing process that is being a couple in love. So, do your best to embrace this holiday season with an open mind and heart.

All over the world, some time back, it was automatic that a married woman would, later on, change their name to their hubby’s. Nevertheless, times are changing, and with the rise of independent women i.e being able to acquire land without requiring their husband’s consent or even loans from banks, more and more women are apparently refusing to take up their husband’s last names. Here are some of the reasons that we found out after research, on why some women are not changing their names:
1. Procrastination:
Most women admit that the process of changing their name to their husbands is tedious and they have found themselves procrastinating the entire process. The process entails forms to be filled and returned to the registrar of persons before the names change officially.

2. Their husband’s last name is terrible
Some women reject their husband’s name because it’s either terrible or has a horrible meaning which they cant associate themselves with.
3. To maintain their identity
Marriage means that a woman loses her identity especially by changing their name. To prove that they are proud of who they are, some women decide to keep their last name.

4. It will affect their career
When a woman attains some level of influence or financial/career success before they get married, they tend to refuse the names of their husbands as it results in a lot of complications or its double work trying to change what they have worked for years.
5. Fear of divorce
With the rise in the number of cheating cases, most women are sticking to keeping their last names.
6. Family tradition
Women who come from influential families tend to keep their maiden names as a way of keeping their family tradition and also their wealth. Some also keep because their mother also kept hence it continues throughout their generations.
7. Because their hubby is changing their names to hers
Sounds weird but that’s the current trend now.