Men do not dress up for women, they dress up for success. And when I say ‘dress up’, I mean put on a show and go for the very best in terms of their outfit.

Yes. I’m the same person who wrote an article on men not taking their dressing seriously when it comes to dates with women, and another one on how to dress to attract quality women at a wedding, but please, hear me out for just a bit.

Those posts got me thinking.

As a man, if you’ve been single in the past or are single now, you will encounter an interesting observation. You don’t have to be dressed like a superstar to attract quality women into your life. I’ve had women fall in love with me after seeing me walk to and from the shop every morning as I went out to make my daily purchase of brown bread. Or women I’ve met at the gym who always saw me dressed in nothing but a worn-out gym t-shirt and baggy sweat pants.

As a matter of fact, even on the first date with a prospective future girlfriend, it’s usually best to keep it simple and be comfortable rather than rock a fancy dinner jacket and look like you’re trying too hard to impress her.

Now, I’m not saying that men shouldn’t dress up to attract women. A unique sense of style is a powerful attraction force. What I am saying is that most of them don’t. Because deep down they know it’s not the determining factor in whether or not women will fall for them.

Are their men who like to dress up and color-coordinate their outfit at every turn? Yes. I’m one of them. Every chance that I get to dress up and showcase a very unique personal brand is one I will take. I’m not gay, but I will match colors even when dressed in an outfit as simple as a polo shirt, jeans, and smart casual shoes. Grey and black? What is this, a halfway funeral outfit? I’m not wearing that.

There are a few of us like that, but not most men. No. Men dress up to the nines when their dress code/sense of style is a determining factor in their success. And that generally tends to happen in one of two scenarios.

When it’s imperative that they impress their customer.

Not a customer in the traditional business sense. Here’s my definition of the word customer. A customer is someone who either puts money directly into your pocket or whose positive impression about you will improve your life measurably in one way or another.

A doctor will dress up for his patients because his patients will use his look to judge how good he is at his job.

A professional will wear his absolute best outfit to an interview because he understands that the panel will be judging him the second he walks into the door.

An entrepreneur will look to make a huge impression in terms of his dress code for his most important customers. Particularly in his very first interaction with them. On this note, recently I’ve been fortunate enough to have my business grow to the point of getting meetings with the country’s top young stylish politicians, and I’ve found myself obsessing over my personal presentation. Facial hair, skin facial, jacket, shoes, designer cologne, the works.

Will a man make a major effort to dress up for a woman? Only if the woman satisfies the condition of being a customer. Not necessarily a romantic partner. A male banker meeting a far superior ranking female banker for a presentation will give his style a major upgrade.

Men up their game when they have a specific individual target in mind who has the power to improve their lives drastically.

That’s scenario number one. What’s the second scenario in which a man would bring his A-game?

In a social/group setting.

This one I believe is self-explanatory so I won’t spend much time on it. One of the best ways to showcase power and earn respect at a social gathering is through a unique and elevated sense of style.

A groom will want to be the best-dressed man at his wedding because the occasion requires it. In the same instance, a wedding guest will want to be the best-dressed man at the event so that he can attract the attention of all those high-quality single women.

And no, I’m not undercutting my initial point. He’s not dressing up for some random woman. He’s dressing up for success with women. The power in his sense of style will give him choice. Choice that will allow him to pick the best woman for him and not have to settle. A situation a lot of single men crave.

Article by Peter Okatch. Kingmaker at King Sidney.

I was scrolling through my Instagram feed recently and came across this photo.

The thing that struck me about this photo was the effort to dress up by the lady and the lack of effort by the man. It immediately reminded me of a complaint I hear from a lot of Kenyan women.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love governor Mutua. Plus I can’t tell what the context of the photo was. He could’ve been surprised while casually resting at home.

I’m not saying that governor Mutua is a lazy dresser. Not at all. In fact, here’s a picture of him putting in the effort.

Not only is he well dressed for this one, they actually complement each other very well. All I’m saying is that the first picture was a perfect representation of what I’ve heard Kenyan women gripe about with regards to some Kenyan men and the way they dress for important functions as a couple.

Let’s take a look at another couple by comparison. Here’s an NFL American football star at an award show.

Notice how they complement each other really well with their color scheme of choice? Red, black and white. They look like a real power couple.

Now compare that, to the very first picture. No need to scroll up. Let me place them side by side for you.

See the difference? There’s very little to no effort to the jeans outfit. A fact that is exacerbated by him standing next to someone who quite clearly took time to put in the effort.

As a man who sells men’s occasion wear, I get a lot of women complaining about the lack of effort by their men in the style department. Particularly on important couple-occasions. It can get really frustrating to spend hours getting ready and weeks picking out the right dress then a dude slaps on a plain shirt and worn-out blue jeans. Yes, the genders are different and men tend not to care about fashion as much, but Jesus!

And by the way as a man, I can tell you for a fact. No man would accept dressing up in a dinner jacket for a function he considers very important and then allowing his woman to wear jeans and a t-shirt. Yes, we love you and your curves in jeans and t-shirts, but it’s not happening, sweetie. Dress inappropriately for an important function and you will be left at home. Guaranteed.

Enough venting. Let’s talk about solutions. How do you as a woman get your man to make an effort and look even more attractive in your eyes? I wrote a detailed post here on how to upgrade your man’s wardrobe. In summary, take matters into your own hands and dress him up. If done tactfully, he won’t mind at all. He will actually encourage it.

Picture this. If you want to buy a car, you could either spend months learning all the details about the different models of cars, or you could walk into a showroom and use your instinct about people to tell whether the salesman is trustworthy, and then use the information he provides you with to make your purchase. The second option makes more sense right?

Now in the above example, you are the car salesman. Except in this case, the customer (your man) knows you, loves you, and trusts you. He doesn’t know or care too much about fashion. You do. So he’s looking to you for guidance in that department in pretty much the same way you submit to him as his wife for guidance on most other issues. So take charge of your department and own your space.

As his woman, it’s on you to discover his tastes and cater to them by shopping on his behalf. It’s time to remind everyone just how dashing the man you chose is capable of being.

Article by Peter Okatch – King Maker at King Sidney.

Amid the endless formalities and rigid rules, there are many ways to put your own personal stamp on this very special occasion. Each element of your wedding ceremony is an opportunity to express something personal and meaningful about your beliefs, relationship and your heritage. The most important day of your life should be a beautiful blend of your personality and your fiancé’s. After all, it’s that very combination that will mould your lives together. Below are just a few of the thoughtful ways you can express yourself on your wedding day. If you are planning a religious ceremony at a church or temple, be sure to discuss all ideas with your officiant.

1. Personalize Your Marriage Vows.
There are ways in which you can personalize your marriage vows to make them more meaningful for you. As with all your ceremony plans, be sure to discuss your ideas for marriage vows with your officiant. Make your wedding vows truly your own by reciting a favourite poem or reading to your groom. You may even choose to write all of your vows yourselves.

2. Light a family candle to symbolize your two lives joining together as one.
In most weddings, two taper candles (representing each family) are lit at the beginning of the marriage ceremony. The candle is often lit by both mothers (bride and groom) and another member of each family. These candles remain lit throughout the ceremony.

After the exchange of vows, the bride and groom use the family candles to light a larger pillar candle – the unity candle, symbolizing the emergence of a new family. Some couples choose to then extinguish the
family candles to emphasise the commitment they have just made. While others may keep them burning to symbolise the inclusion in each other families.

3. Incorporate poetry and/or literature into your ceremony readings.
There are a seemingly infinite number of poems, song lyrics, scriptures and other readings that you can incorporate into your ceremony. Start with personal favourites. If you love 19th century English novels, include an excerpt from one. Or you might ask the person you have chosen to read the scripture to surprise you with his own words. Just have him run it by someone you trust such as your maid of honour or parent to ensure that it is suitable.
As a general rule limiting the number of readings at the ceremony to no more than three or about minutes each. Discuss with your officiant the readings you would like incorporated into your ceremony.

4. Incorporate your family heritage into the celebration wherever possible.
One way to honour your past is to include traditions that reflect your families’ heritage. You need not limit yourself to the customs of your forebearers, however. Feel free to borrow from another culture that resonates with you.

27 Ways to Personalize Your Wedding

1. Invite the groom’s parent to be part of the processional.
2. Ask friends and family members to perform special readings.
3. Change places with the officiant and face your guests during the ceremony.
4. Release white doves or balloons into the air after being pronounced “husband and wife”.
5. Burn incense to give the ceremony an exotic feeling.
6. In the months before your wedding, create an “email- newsletter ” for the members of the wedding party, updating them on times and locations of specific events, and reminding them of their duties. Keep the mood light by disclosing your thoughts, as the day grows closer, and by including accounts of those funny little incidents that happen along the way.
7. Plant a tree or a seedling on the day of your wedding to grow along with your marriage. With its reputation as the eternal flower of love, a rose bush is a perfect choice, or plant the sprig of ivy that you carried in your bouquet.
8. Present your guests with favours as they leave the reception, such as a ribbon-tied package of sugar-coated almonds, representing the bitter and sweet of marriage, or a tulle sachet of fragrant potpourri. If the budget allows an even more personalized favour might be a Polaroid picture of each guest, snapped as they enter the reception.
9. For a seated meal, mark each place with an elegantly engraved place card and menu.
10. In place of a solid white tablecloth, consider using a coloured cloth or one made from the same fabric as your bridesmaids’ gown beneath a white lace overlay. Decorate napkins at each place in coordinating
    fabric ribbon.
11. Embroider an elegant pillow for your ring bearer to carry down the aisle. Your names and the dates artfully stitched at the bottom will be a lasting reminder of your loving union.
12. Fill the flower girl’s basket with petals from the flowers in your mother’s or grandmother’s garden.
13. Incorporate your favourite music into the prelude before the ceremony.
14. After you’ve selected your wedding rings, arrange to have them engraved with a personal message.
15. Delight your parents, or his, with a nostalgic look back at their own wedding day. Surprise them by displaying their wedding portrait at your reception.
16. Invite the clergy who knew you as a child to participate in the ceremony.
17. For your first dance as husband and wife, have the band play the first song the two of you ever danced together or the song that was playing when he proposed to you.
18. Give your attendants a silver frame engraved with your wedding date and later present them with a
    photograph from the day to proudly display inside it.
19. Send your fiancé a romantic telegram /SMS/ even a handwritten note the morning of your wedding.
20. Make it a family affair; include members of both your families in the wedding. Consider asking a brother or cousin to give an inspirational reading at the ceremony, making it a family affair.
21. Make your favourite flower the centre of all the floral arrangements at the wedding and reception.
    Then set the mood in your new home by having similar arrangements delivered the day you return from your honeymoon.
22. As an alternative to traditional bouquets, let your bridesmaids carry the flower of their choice. Tied with matching ribbons, the varied look will be colourful and refreshing.
23. Hire a professional calligrapher to address your wedding invitations in a flowing, romantic script.
24. Design an elegant printed program to pass to your guests before the ceremony begins. Include the order of service, your attendants’ names and perhaps a personal message of thanks from you two.
25. Just before you enter the church, have the organist sound the chimes of the hour. Follow that with a trumpet salute as you begin your processional down the aisle.
26. Take the time to select a romantic gift for the groom such as a book of poetry or an engraved silver pen.
27. Compile a small photo album of favourite pictures from your courtship to surprise him with on your honeymoon.