How Your Ex Feels About Your Wedding

By Lillian Gaitho

Four years ago, I was agonizing a break up, of course while in your twenties you have a few of those, some of which you later realize were God sent – they paved way to a better you, and better tidings. But there always is that one person whose memories never really fade and especially when they pop up an engaged status on Face book! In a moment the days long gone come flowing back, and you can’t help wondering if dating you actually allowed them to marry someone else! You actually feel betrayed, how could someone you knew very well, and trusted so deep bend a knee for a stranger who (hopefully) will never measure up to what you two used to be! Well, that’s until they drop a save the date to your postal address! The world almost crumbles under your feet.
Take for instance Jayden, not even the veil of Ex Lovers turned platonic friends could conceal the immense treacherous feeling that engulfed him the morning that luminous clad rider dropped by his office with a turquoise package in red ribbons; Rachael was getting married, and yes, he was honorably invited to share in the joy of her connubial launch. The first instinct was to push the card further down the stack of files gathering dust by the office shelves, but that only reminded him of Rachael’s meticulous ways. That windowsill never knew dust until the lass deserted. Pretending to have never received the card would be a spineless act too.

Then without notice, the shock hastily morphed into an endless stream of sickening analysis threatening to blow off his already tortured brain; why the hell did she invite him anyway? Was it a prove to him that finally, she had found someone who’d proven more worth than the douche bag that was him, or did she silently pray that he would ask her not to do it and whisk her away just as the priest adjusted his robes to the task? Did she even really want him there? Why was the card clearly indicated as accommodating two guests? Was this a trap for him to make a fool of his self as the ever over- zealous Rachael measured his Fi against herself? Should he ‘honor’ the invite?

The extraordinary thing about receiving an invite from a former lover is, regardless of how you ended up things, whether you were tossed into the dumper or you pulled the red card does not matter; The unexplainable feeling of loss and defeat is evident even to the most unceremonious departures. The smitten will clearly hold no sexual claims on the ‘assailant’ having given up rights on each other long before they parted ways. When you go through the life circles and circus with someone holding on to you, you create intense memories that form the unique memory pad of your relationship. Others may hear about them, like the day you made a total clown of yourself at the karaoke night, or the day she burnt the fruitcake while trying to impress your mom! But no one will relate to the memories like you do, you even creatively develop a vocabulary only known to you. All this and more and any other sneaky thoughts you might have been toying with after your drunken stupors comes to an immediate close. From being a friend, lover and soul mate, they plaster on your memories the unappealing title of ‘this person I used to go out with’

So, after days of situation-analysis and post invite stratagem you finally decide to play loose with your past, break the nostalgic yoke and grace the event. Feeling noble and honorable, you even pass by the gift registry and peruse through their supposedly joint likes. Then something hits you: what role will you be playing at her wedding, how are you going to face her/his parents. Are they actually happy that its not you joining their family tree; after all they never even did much to camouflage their dislike for your old truck! How are you going to cope with all the stares and the silent whispers among the clueless guests, and good heavens, what if the devil, in all his wickedness tempts your mind into doing something silly, like raising your hands when the priest asks for any objecting parties? Bottom line, will you survive the event? Your new found solace in you being the best thing she never had begins to hit perilous lows. But you decide to go anyway.
Psyche seems to be your new mantra until you get that wicked stare from the grooms men gathered in a corner of the garden set up that inauspiciously reminds you of her meticulous way. They look at you and break into some mischievous Monalisa half-smile. For a moment, your knees buckle, could she have made a public joke of how you used to make weird noises in the height of your love making, what if they know, Jesus save your tortured soul! Is there really a comfortable stage in courtship when you can break wind and burp without the fear of a bitter kiss and tell ex?
As interesting as it sounds, most people confess to attaining closure as soon as they witness their former flame finally tie the knot with the newcomer. You pass your congratulation talk and chat away after her/his first dance, that is if new titleholder does not throw the dessert forks your way! At last, all the quivering departs your heart, and slowly it dawns to you why you and him/her could never have gone past the weekend visits. They are better off being someone else’s problem or passion!

A Bridal Shower Made in Jozi

Experience has taught me when you are not sure where to start ‘the’ story, you start from ‘the’ beginning!

By Lilian Gaitho

Thus, it all began with a call by Samantha’s Bridal, KTN and Standard Newspaper for soon-to-be-brides to fill in coupons in the Standard Newspaper and Samantha’s Bridal Wedding Magazine and win a leisure trip to South Africa. The winning coupons were revealed during the Samantha’s Wedding Expo July 2013 and courtesy of South Africa Tourism, five lucky brides; each with two of her best girlfriends would have an all costs covered five nights stay in Johannesburg and Cape Town plus a VIP ticket to the South Africa Wedding Expo.

Fast-forward to our landing at Oliver Thambo Airport, and nothing beats the respite care offered to the group at the Hennops River Valley Mangwanani Africa Day Spa in the tranquil outskirts of Pretoria. This was just the perfect ‘welcome to Mzansi’, marked by the customary drumming and singing in Xhosa just an hour fter checking in at the equally gorgeous Maslow hotel. Both brides and friends were treated to a wholesome healing, nurturing and pampering session; kicking off with Neo Maoto, the royal African foot massage to wash away the four-hour jetlag from the Nairobi-Johannesburg flight, this was followed by a much needed Molala, which is a head, neck and shoulder massage and finally a relaxing hot stone treatment to ward tension off our backs. In true African spirit, the brides and and would be bridesmaids would not be allowed to leave the valleys without a taste of light African meals savoured to the musical beats and thumping of the antelopes gracefully dancing under star stained Southern skies; the spa set pace to what would unfold over a blissful five-day tour. And to bid fairy-thee-tour to the brides, the cheerful ladies presented gift bags of DIY massage oils, scrubs and robes. Just the stuff to say, ‘I know Mangwanani’

The music is real, live and instrumental, there’s no window for lip-synching. The Con Grazia girls waltz away in a trance to Dean Martins That’s Amore, and Elegant entertainment picks up the melodies in their balanced threesome baritone. The runway brides are not just ambassadors of brands and trends; they leave in their trail hints of opulence and grandeur that can only go with crystals and pearls; It’s the South Africa Wedding Expo, the annual event brings together globally acclaimed wedding designers and top shop stockists. Our brides did not miss out, Tess was lost for choice; stuck in a Princess Diana length-alike cathedral veil, while her favorite piece was a layered, lighter – than – air floral dress. The designer advised on a high tapering birdcage to complete the effect. Her two friends looked on speechless, unable to help the dear bride make a choice! Elsewhere, Susan, a maid of honor makes an urgent call to the florist back in Kenya, the three friends have mentally disbanded their initial set up plan for Molly’s wedding!

Still lost in the charm of six-meter tall, 2.5 ton, Mandiba statue after last night’s decadent dinner at Mandela Square- Sandton City Complex, we decide to complete the voyage with a visit to Mandela house before taking a dive of faith at the Soweto’s Orlando Towers. This could be the twin tower with the most gut-wrenching story in colonial Africa and today, Brides and Co. are bungee jumping down the hundred meters as if to swear their allegiance! Now, this is exactly one of those moments when a girlfriend’s touch of assurance comes in handy! And so bound by nuts, bolts and friendship, all girls scale up and fly down the precarious heights of Soweto. In reward of their valor, the Orlando Towers bungee team awards them with certificates of…well, hazardous adventure?
A little more shopping in the departmental malls, a few stop overs in bridal outlets. More soup and calamari (I’m beginning to miss our Tilapia!), ostrich meat for the adventurous, some wild game for the explorers, smoked salmon for the brides keeping watch over their waistline, a little wine for the stomach’s sake and dinner is done; we depart for Cape town early next morning

New Magazine Out

Current Samanthas bridal cover
Current Samanthas bridal cover

Want to know a little secret? Weddings aren’t just about getting married they’re about showing off your style. Flowers are certainly the easiest and most dramatic way to perk up a room fast. It’s big-ticket embellishments tied together with often-inexpensive details that really put the sizzle into your space. For more check out page 59 and on that note,  I must confess that have a pet peeve about chair covers and sash ties. I am just not a fan of them anymore. There’s something about them that makes the planzilla in me bubble to the surface. Perhaps it’s the more-often-than-not cheap look of un ironed chair covers or the messiness of it all when a room is filled with 200+ chair covers and puffy sash ties or even clumsy me always getting my feet tripping over the chair covers – either way it just doesn’t float my boat. Seeing the price of chiavari chairs or other fancy chairs, I completely understand why people are still using this plastic chairs. But there are actually many other affordable ways to spruce up your plastic chairs and make them look very pretty. You would be surprised the difference a neat chair can make to the look and feel of your decor. A simple draping, floral garland, a neat fabric bow or ribbon can do wonders. You could even ditch the sash and tie the chair cover in a neat knot or tuck a flower in and it would still come out looking neat, clean and simple. You spend so much money on making your ceremony and reception look pretty, don’t neglect your chairs. Chairs deserve to look pretty too and when there are 100+ of them, you’ll want to dress them up a little bit. In our main feature On pg 58. You will find some of our favorite wedding chair decor ideas.
Finally, What are your plans for your wedding gown when the confetti has settled? Are you planning to trash the dress or cherish it? Would you consider doing a cherish the dress or even trash the dress photo shoot? For those already married, do you still fit into your wedding dress? Have you had it cleaned yet? Is the thought of wearing your dress again just too painful? We’d love to hear your thoughts in our comments  info@samanthasbridal.co.ke, and in the meantime we asked one of our favorite photographers, the wonderful Mulavu from Gash studios, renowned for styled location shoots as well as stunning wedding photography, to provide some of his best cherished shots. see page10
Getting married is a major step in building a life with another person…in sickness and in health.  Samantha’s Bridal is helping to ensure that more lives are lived together in health. We are pleased to announce that the wedding dress ball is back again.
Our primary goal in founding the Wedding Dress Ball is to establish an event unlike any other to increase awareness around women’s health specifically cervical and breast health issues and to help eradicate breast and cervical cancer life-threatening diseases. Yes we are inviting you to wear your wedding dress again and join in the long term efforts of fighting breast cancer. As a company that caters to women it is extremely important to us to contribute, ultimately making a real impact in saving lives. After all, we spend a small fortune on a dress that we only get to wear once and we’re very emotionally attached to it… It’s really going to be a great event, there’s something for everyone… Good food, great entertainment. We expect this to be a sold-out event. many women have indicated to us that they will book tables for themselves and their best friends. Other groups interested include fantasy brides, nearly-married, newly-married and old-married-couples like myself and my husband.

The Wedding Blog