Let’s Go Over it Again
African weddings still suffer from the dreaded ‘African time-keeping’ tag, but you will not allow this to happen at your best friend’s wedding, or will you? Ensure the rehearsal does happen, even if no one else thinks a rehearsal is a good idea. Find out exactly the order of the day. When is the bride arriving? Who’s sitting where on the high table? What’s the phone number of the caterer, musician, florist? Account for all sorts of mishaps and work out your contingency plan. If the DJ lets them down, do you know someone who could step in at a moment’s notice? Even if the bride is organizing the rehearsal, you need to be there and remember exactly what is meant to happen because with the stress and nerves of the day, someone might forget and it’s up to you to put things back on track again and you’ll be adored for it.
- He is the groom’s right-hand man and the troubleshooter on the big day. He is usually the best friend, brother, cousin or even the groom’s father.
- He should be highly reliable, cool under pressure, smart, effortlessly charming, and a brilliant public speaker.
Wedding Day Responsibilities:
- Responsible for organizing grooms’ men activities.
- Always offer to stand by the groom’s side always and not just on the big day.
- Organizes a bachelor party/stag party for the groom and preferably in consultation with the groom rather than springing any surprises. It should of course, take place well ahead of the wedding day. We’re not going to go into too much detail here as to what you get up to on the stag night. Make sure everyone he wants can be there and can afford it and that they all have the time of their lives. Be safe, be legal, be cool. Make the bride your ally by making sure she will trust you not to get the groom in too much trouble on his stag night (you sly little devil, you!).
- He should be involved in planning the wedding so that he knows what should happen at any given time.
- Make sure the groom arrives at the wedding on time and in the right suit. Help the groom along the task of finding suitable outfits you’ve seen in the magazines like this one you are holding now, or even arrange a boy’s day out and treat him to a ready-to-measure three piece, that’ll leave the single girls crying at the altar! And while you are at it, get yourself something stunning after all, you’ll be the one they’ll all be swooning over…Under no circumstances should you pick an outfit for yourself that’s better than his, however much he might say it suits you. He needs to look as a prince, as the bride will look majestic, she’ll think you’re her Best Man too (don’t underrate this point-you still want to be invited round his house once he’s married, don’t you?) If you are hiring or arranging the purchase of morning suits or tuxedos, it’s up to you to arrange everyone (groom, attendants and so on) to meet for fittings – and take responsibility to ensure everyone pays their deposit, purchase or rental fee.
- Accompany the groom to all traditional ceremonies including dowry discussions and payments.
- Carrying the rings.
- Assist in applying for marriage licence.
- As a witness to the wedding, he also gets to sign the marriage certificate.
- Acts as an official especially when the groom is at his most nervous state. Both civil and religious ceremonies legally require witnesses, even if family members make up that quota, the groom would feel a lot happier knowing his best man in the vicinity.
On the Day Responsibilities:
- He gives the groom a good breakfast or lunch and soothes his nerves.
- Keeps groom on schedule by making sure the groom turns up to the venue on time and looks his best.
- He ensures the groom’s going-away suit is at the reception venue and that the tickets, passports and transport are easily at hand.
- He also makes sure that the buttonholes for the groom, himself and the ushers are all delivered.
- Drives groom to ceremony site and sees that he is properly dressed before the wedding.
- Checks the ushers to know what they’re doing and keeps the groom calm as he waits for his bride to arrive.
- Pays the clergyman, musicians, photographer and any other service provider on the wedding day.
- Holds the bride’s ring for the groom, if no ring bearer, until needed by officiant.
- He may also act as a witness for the signing of the register.
- Drives the newlyweds to reception if there is no driver hired.
- At the reception, he may act as master of ceremony to announce the entrance of the bride and groom and also introduce the speakers. Finally, he delivers his speech, which should be witty and generous.
- Offers to toast first at the reception.
- Dances with the maid of honor during the bridal party dance.
- May drive couple to airport or honeymoon suite.
- Oversees the return of tuxedo rentals for the groom and ushers, on time and in good condition.
- By contrast they have it easy. They tend to be close relations and old friends.
- They also double up as ushers.
What Are Their Duties?
- Their job is to seat guests correctly ie brides family to the left and groom’s family to the right and reserve the front rows for family.
- These are usually friends or relatives of the groom and they can sometimes double as ushers but usually do not have as many duties as the best man.
- They are required to be at the rehearsal to familiarize themselves with entrance, exit and bathroom locations for the guests’ comfort and learn the seating arrangements.
- Assist with any final details and hand out the programmes to guests.
- Manage seating arrangements by escorting the guests to their seats as per the guest’s relationship to the couple.
- During the ceremony, groomsmen escort the bridesmaids down the aisle.
- Ensure that everyone departs from the church in an orderly manner.
- The groomsmen and ushers mingle with the guests at the reception and give any assistance and perhaps propose a few toasts.