Men don’t dress for women, they dress for success.

Men do not dress up for women, they dress up for success. And when I say ‘dress up’, I mean put on a show and go for the very best in terms of their outfit.

Yes. I’m the same person who wrote an article on men not taking their dressing seriously when it comes to dates with women, and another one on how to dress to attract quality women at a wedding, but please, hear me out for just a bit.

Those posts got me thinking.

As a man, if you’ve been single in the past or are single now, you will encounter an interesting observation. You don’t have to be dressed like a superstar to attract quality women into your life. I’ve had women fall in love with me after seeing me walk to and from the shop every morning as I went out to make my daily purchase of brown bread. Or women I’ve met at the gym who always saw me dressed in nothing but a worn-out gym t-shirt and baggy sweat pants.

As a matter of fact, even on the first date with a prospective future girlfriend, it’s usually best to keep it simple and be comfortable rather than rock a fancy dinner jacket and look like you’re trying too hard to impress her.

Now, I’m not saying that men shouldn’t dress up to attract women. A unique sense of style is a powerful attraction force. What I am saying is that most of them don’t. Because deep down they know it’s not the determining factor in whether or not women will fall for them.

Are their men who like to dress up and color-coordinate their outfit at every turn? Yes. I’m one of them. Every chance that I get to dress up and showcase a very unique personal brand is one I will take. I’m not gay, but I will match colors even when dressed in an outfit as simple as a polo shirt, jeans, and smart casual shoes. Grey and black? What is this, a halfway funeral outfit? I’m not wearing that.

There are a few of us like that, but not most men. No. Men dress up to the nines when their dress code/sense of style is a determining factor in their success. And that generally tends to happen in one of two scenarios.

When it’s imperative that they impress their customer.

Not a customer in the traditional business sense. Here’s my definition of the word customer. A customer is someone who either puts money directly into your pocket or whose positive impression about you will improve your life measurably in one way or another.

A doctor will dress up for his patients because his patients will use his look to judge how good he is at his job.

A professional will wear his absolute best outfit to an interview because he understands that the panel will be judging him the second he walks into the door.

An entrepreneur will look to make a huge impression in terms of his dress code for his most important customers. Particularly in his very first interaction with them. On this note, recently I’ve been fortunate enough to have my business grow to the point of getting meetings with the country’s top young stylish politicians, and I’ve found myself obsessing over my personal presentation. Facial hair, skin facial, jacket, shoes, designer cologne, the works.

Will a man make a major effort to dress up for a woman? Only if the woman satisfies the condition of being a customer. Not necessarily a romantic partner. A male banker meeting a far superior ranking female banker for a presentation will give his style a major upgrade.

Men up their game when they have a specific individual target in mind who has the power to improve their lives drastically.

That’s scenario number one. What’s the second scenario in which a man would bring his A-game?

In a social/group setting.

This one I believe is self-explanatory so I won’t spend much time on it. One of the best ways to showcase power and earn respect at a social gathering is through a unique and elevated sense of style.

A groom will want to be the best-dressed man at his wedding because the occasion requires it. In the same instance, a wedding guest will want to be the best-dressed man at the event so that he can attract the attention of all those high-quality single women.

And no, I’m not undercutting my initial point. He’s not dressing up for some random woman. He’s dressing up for success with women. The power in his sense of style will give him choice. Choice that will allow him to pick the best woman for him and not have to settle. A situation a lot of single men crave.

 

Article by Peter Okatch. Kingmaker at King Sidney.

You and your man; The Power couple

I was scrolling through my Instagram feed recently and came across this photo.

alfred mutua kenya

The thing that struck me about this photo was the effort to dress up by the lady and the lack of effort by the man. It immediately reminded me of a complaint I hear from a lot of Kenyan women.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love governor Mutua. Plus I can’t tell what the context of the photo was. He could’ve been surprised while casually resting at home.

I’m not saying that governor Mutua is a lazy dresser. Not at all. In fact, here’s a picture of him putting in the effort.

power couple kenya

Not only is he well dressed for this one, they actually complement each other very well. All I’m saying is that the first picture was a perfect representation of what I’ve heard Kenyan women gripe about with regards to some Kenyan men and the way they dress for important functions as a couple.

Let’s take a look at another couple by comparison. Here’s an NFL American football star at an award show.

Notice how they complement each other really well with their color scheme of choice? Red, black and white. They look like a real power couple.

Now compare that, to the very first picture. No need to scroll up. Let me place them side by side for you.

power couples kenya

See the difference? There’s very little to no effort to the jeans outfit. A fact that is exacerbated by him standing next to someone who quite clearly took time to put in the effort.

As a man who sells men’s occasion wear, I get a lot of women complaining about the lack of effort by their men in the style department. Particularly on important couple-occasions. It can get really frustrating to spend hours getting ready and weeks picking out the right dress then a dude slaps on a plain shirt and worn-out blue jeans. Yes, the genders are different and men tend not to care about fashion as much, but Jesus!

And by the way as a man, I can tell you for a fact. No man would accept dressing up in a dinner jacket for a function he considers very important and then allowing his woman to wear jeans and a t-shirt. Yes, we love you and your curves in jeans and t-shirts, but it’s not happening, sweetie. Dress inappropriately for an important function and you will be left at home. Guaranteed.

Enough venting. Let’s talk about solutions. How do you as a woman get your man to make an effort and look even more attractive in your eyes? I wrote a detailed post here on how to upgrade your man’s wardrobe. In summary, take matters into your own hands and dress him up. If done tactfully, he won’t mind at all. He will actually encourage it.

Picture this. If you want to buy a car, you could either spend months learning all the details about the different models of cars, or you could walk into a showroom and use your instinct about people to tell whether the salesman is trustworthy, and then use the information he provides you with to make your purchase. The second option makes more sense right?

Now in the above example, you are the car salesman. Except in this case, the customer (your man) knows you, loves you, and trusts you. He doesn’t know or care too much about fashion. You do. So he’s looking to you for guidance in that department in pretty much the same way you submit to him as his wife for guidance on most other issues. So take charge of your department and own your space.

As his woman, it’s on you to discover his tastes and cater to them by shopping on his behalf. It’s time to remind everyone just how dashing the man you chose is capable of being.

 

Article by Peter Okatch – King Maker at King Sidney.