How to get him the perfect anniversary gift

How do you go about purchasing the perfect anniversary gift for your husband? I’ll tell you.

But first, let me preface it with a quick personal story.

I didn’t buy my wife a ring. Well, at least not before the wedding. Here’s what happened.

We had a budget for the wedding. And as is the case with most weddings, the costs far exceeded the budget. So I had to make some cuts. I should’ve got a cheaper photographer. Or a cheaper DJ. Because both of those suppliers were really crappy. But I instead paid for everything and left out the rings.

My fiancé was heartbroken.

As daft as it may sound, I didn’t see it coming. And by it, I mean her disappointment. We men can be very emotionally stunted sometimes.

Why was she upset?

Because my actions showed I had chosen those suppliers over her. Something I doubt I would have forgiven had it been the other way round.

Long story short, we agreed to buy fake rings for the wedding. Then the following week I spent my entire business revenues on buying the rings.

Because I understood my mistake. I understood that actions speak louder than words. Anyone can say the words “I love you.” But not everyone will sacrifice and put their money where their mouth is.

What does this have to do with the best anniversary gift for your husband you ask?

Here’s the thing. Your purchase will tell him more than any words that could ever come out of your mouth.

If you’re earning over Kshs. 100,000 a month and you get him socks, that may end up feeling disrespectful and thoughtless to him. Whichever way you spin it. Gift-giving can be hard, I know. They say it’s the thought that counts. But in truth, it’s the sacrifice that counts. Because human beings are not ignorant about emotional issues. They can tell when they’re being dealt the short end of the stick.

You’ve got to go with something well thought out. And here’s 2 ways you can do it.

  1. Watch him closely and get him something you know for a fact he’ll like.

Does he love electronics and gadgets? Do your research on the one he’s coveting and save up for it. Does he like to dress up in fancy jackets? Get your king the best of the best.

king sidney

Two things are bound to happen.

  • First, he will outshine his peers.
  • Secondly, those same peers will marvel at just how well you, his wife, are taking care of him.

Whatever the case may be, please do your research on him first. A big mistake we all tend to make with gift-giving is getting the person what we think is best for them, rather than what they truly desire. Try your level best to understand him. Understands what he really wants. And focus only on that. The time you spend trying to understand him better will also lead to a better relationship. And that’s a wonderful side effect to have.

Alternatively, if you are extremely busy, you could go with option number 2.

2. Hire a personal shopper.

Personal shoppers are a real asset. They are essentially the wedding planners of gift-giving. If you’ve ever planned a wedding on your own you know how difficult it can be. Wedding planners lighten your load tremendously. And personal shoppers do the exact same thing by offering a few major advantages.

  • They already have a database of trusted vendors they’ve built over the years so you do not have to worry about quality control issues.
  • Their experience within the gifting industry means they are quite likely to understand exactly what would make your husband feel loved and cherished.
  • They do for you all the hard work of driving around and gift shopping on your behalf. This frees you up of the hassle and stress of gift shopping. And we all know what they say about a happy wife.

I’ve had lovely experiences with gift shoppers. My personal favorite was Zuida’s Bow Gift Boutique, whom I discovered through a newspaper article. If I had to list all of Zuida’s good traits we’d be here for 48 hours straight. Therefore I won’t go into detail within this article. However, if you’re looking to gift shop for your man and have no clue where to start, I’d definitely recommend them.

Zuida's bow

So there you have it, ladies. If his love languages are acts of service or receiving gifts, then as his woman you’ve got to feed him the fuel he needs. It’s part of the reason you’re the best wife in the world.

So please don’t make the same mistake I made. Make it good. And make it count.

Celebrate your love with the respect and sacrifice it truly deserves.

Cheers and God bless.

How to avoid fighting with your fiance over the holidays

The holidays are here with us and they are times to celebrate and have fun with family and loved ones. Traditions come to life and good times are to be had by all. But what happens after you have tied the knot and now the two families are forced to become one during the holidays?

A milestone in any romantic relationship is your first holiday together and making new memories to share in the years to come. Yet each individual has their own family and friends, along with customs and traditions that are near and dear to their heart.

Now, conversations and compromises are in order. To help things go smoothly and avoid any holiday tension, here are some of the things you must do to keep the peace.

Communication is Key

It may seem like a now issue, but handling how to split the holidays can actually affect your relationship in the years to come. So if you find yourselves arguing or intentionally avoiding the uncomfortable task of planning how to spend the season, you’ll want to think again.

To start, recognize that while you each are forging a path for the future together, you both come from equally important families that may or may not have special traditions and you cant expect one another to simply leave them behind. Instead, find a balance.

A Learning Process

Whether your backgrounds are alike or similar, familiarize yourself with holiday customs, traditions, and recipes from each side. You may find that some lend themselves and this may ease in the compromises.

In most instances, people find themselves with a partner who was raised very similarly or perhaps very differently. We might have become attracted to and married someone with a very different background and initially felt eager to learn about that but when the holidays approach, we might find ourselves under more pressure from our own families and our partners for how to make this all come together.

If you have never missed Christmas Eve away from your parents’ house, but for your partner, the importance is more on the Christmas Day problem solved. If, however, you both feel strongly about a specific day, it may be time to rotate, split the day if distance allows, or forge ahead with an entirely new experience of your own.

Regardless of having to hammer out the details, the number one most important thing to keep in mind is that you should really be handling the holidays together. The worst thing that can happen is when one person decides it is all too much bother and too much work and says they will go on their own to see their own family. Doing so does not send the message to each other or to the respective families that the couple is in this together.

How to Find Solutions

What works for one couple may not work for you, but remember that there is always a solution.

Its also important to remember that whatever course of action you take this year does not dictate the future, nor does it set in stone how to proceed for every holiday season to come. Instead, view it as a trial and error experience. As a new couple, it is good to give yourselves the flexibility to borrow what works and then tweak and create brand new special traditions.

Keep in mind the reason for the season, after all when you feel that you are getting tense or stressed. Always remember that love, kindness, and gratitude should be the driving force behind the holidays.

And don’t forget about self-care. During the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, it’s important to take time for yourselves as a couple, too. While it’s easy to get lost in holiday plans and family gatherings, be sure to prioritize time dedicated to enjoying the new family you are creating together. This may involve going on a day trip somewhere new, going into nature, or taking a yoga class together.

It all boils down to compromise, communication, and honesty. Handling the holidays gently, firmly, kindly, and fairly for each other and in relation to each person’s family of origin goes a long way.

Practicing these skills now is also great practice for the future for example when couples may go on to have children and will juggle demands for attention from grandparents and extended family and will need to set boundaries.

Its all part of the beautiful growing process that is being a couple in love. So, do your best to embrace this holiday season with an open mind and heart.

The perfect Ruracio outfit for the groom-to-be

You have a Ruracio coming up. And if you’re being honest with yourself, it’s eating you up inside. A lot of things about the event are eating you up inside. It’s a chance for you to make a big impression with your future in-laws. And you don’t want to mess it up. First impressions matter. And you’re dead set on making one of the biggest impressions you’ve ever made in your life.

But how exactly will you accomplish such a fete? With your impeccable, sense of style, of course. You want jaws dropping and eyes widening with respect at the sight of you the second you walk into that room.

Now, you’re a man who loves quality and luxury. You appreciate the finer things in life. And nowhere is this more evident than within your wardrobe. They let you know that the color scheme for most Ruracios in Kenya is caramel brown. However, there’s no way you and your personality are going to wear that basic Ruracio cover-up. You know the one I’m referring to. This thing right here.

ruracio

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Absolutely no way. Hapana. Never ever. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s just not you. Where are you going with all those beads? In your mind, there are a couple of disadvantages to the above item. Namely:

  • You will never ever wear it again anywhere else. And inasmuch as it’s cheap, that’s essentially money thrown away. And as my grandfather always used to say, it’s better to invest Kshs. 50,000 than it is to throw away Kshs. 5,000.
  • You will look like every other guy in every other Ruracio event. So much for being a suave gentleman with an incredible sense of style.

What if there’s another way? What if we could stick within the Ruracio color scheme of caramel brown and still manage to look like a King about to take his queen? Well, there is another way. You could rock an outfit like the one the gentleman builds in the video below.

The advantages of the above outfit are numerous. Namely:

  • Its money well spent because you have something you can wear for several other occasions for decades to come.
  • As stated in the video, you will look like a real superstar and impress not just your in-laws, but your fiancé as well. Two birds, one stone.
  • The self-confidence you will feel in the second outfit will help carry you throughout what would otherwise be a fairly nerve-wracking day.

So as you prepare for your Ruracio event, stay true to yourself and your sense of style. And ensure you give everyone at the event reason to never ever forget you. Ever.

7 reasons why brides refuse to change their last name

All over the world, some time back, it was automatic that a married woman would, later on, change their name to their hubby’s. Nevertheless, times are changing, and with the rise of independent women i.e being able to acquire land without requiring their husband’s consent or even loans from banks, more and more women are apparently refusing to take up their husband’s last names. Here are some of the reasons that we found out after research, on why some women are not changing their names:
1. Procrastination:
Most women admit that the process of changing their name to their husbands is tedious and they have found themselves procrastinating the entire process. The process entails forms to be filled and returned to the registrar of persons before the names change officially.

2. Their husband’s last name is terrible
Some women reject their husband’s name because it’s either terrible or has a horrible meaning which they cant associate themselves with.
3. To maintain their identity
Marriage means that a woman loses her identity especially by changing their name. To prove that they are proud of who they are, some women decide to keep their last name.

4. It will affect their career
When a woman attains some level of influence or financial/career success before they get married, they tend to refuse the names of their husbands as it results in a lot of complications or its double work trying to change what they have worked for years.
5. Fear of divorce
With the rise in the number of cheating cases, most women are sticking to keeping their last names.
6. Family tradition
Women who come from influential families tend to keep their maiden names as a way of keeping their family tradition and also their wealth. Some also keep because their mother also kept hence it continues throughout their generations.
7. Because their hubby is changing their names to hers
Sounds weird but that’s the current trend now.

Personalizing your ceremony

Amid the endless formalities and rigid rules, there are many ways to put your own personal stamp on this very special occasion. Each element of your wedding ceremony is an opportunity to express something personal and meaningful about your beliefs, relationship and your heritage. The most important day of your life should be a beautiful blend of your personality and your fiancé’s. After all, it’s that very combination that will mould your lives together. Below are just a few of the thoughtful ways you can express yourself on your wedding day. If you are planning a religious ceremony at a church or temple, be sure to discuss all ideas with your officiant.

1. Personalize Your Marriage Vows.
There are ways in which you can personalize your marriage vows to make them more meaningful for you. As with all your ceremony plans, be sure to discuss your ideas for marriage vows with your officiant. Make your wedding vows truly your own by reciting a favourite poem or reading to your groom. You may even choose to write all of your vows yourselves.

2. Light a family candle to symbolize your two lives joining together as one.
In most weddings, two taper candles (representing each family) are lit at the beginning of the marriage ceremony. The candle is often lit by both mothers (bride and groom) and another member of each family. These candles remain lit throughout the ceremony.

After the exchange of vows, the bride and groom use the family candles to light a larger pillar candle – the unity candle, symbolizing the emergence of a new family. Some couples choose to then extinguish the
family candles to emphasise the commitment they have just made. While others may keep them burning to symbolise the inclusion in each other families.

3. Incorporate poetry and/or literature into your ceremony readings.
There are a seemingly infinite number of poems, song lyrics, scriptures and other readings that you can incorporate into your ceremony. Start with personal favourites. If you love 19th century English novels, include an excerpt from one. Or you might ask the person you have chosen to read the scripture to surprise you with his own words. Just have him run it by someone you trust such as your maid of honour or parent to ensure that it is suitable.
As a general rule limiting the number of readings at the ceremony to no more than three or about minutes each. Discuss with your officiant the readings you would like incorporated into your ceremony.

4. Incorporate your family heritage into the celebration wherever possible.
One way to honour your past is to include traditions that reflect your families’ heritage. You need not limit yourself to the customs of your forebearers, however. Feel free to borrow from another culture that resonates with you.

27 Ways to Personalize Your Wedding

  1. Invite the groom’s parent to be part of the processional.
  2. Ask friends and family members to perform special readings.
  3. Change places with the officiant and face your guests during the ceremony.
  4. Release white doves or balloons into the air after being pronounced “husband and wife”.
  5. Burn incense to give the ceremony an exotic feeling.
  6. In the months before your wedding, create an “email- newsletter ” for the members of the wedding party, updating them on times and locations of specific events, and reminding them of their duties. Keep the mood light by disclosing your thoughts, as the day grows closer, and by including accounts of those funny little incidents that happen along the way.
  7. Plant a tree or a seedling on the day of your wedding to grow along with your marriage. With its reputation as the eternal flower of love, a rose bush is a perfect choice, or plant the sprig of ivy that you carried in your bouquet.
  8. Present your guests with favours as they leave the reception, such as a ribbon-tied package of sugar-coated almonds, representing the bitter and sweet of marriage, or a tulle sachet of fragrant potpourri. If the budget allows an even more personalized favour might be a Polaroid picture of each guest, snapped as they enter the reception.
  9. For a seated meal, mark each place with an elegantly engraved place card and menu.
  10. In place of a solid white tablecloth, consider using a coloured cloth or one made from the same fabric as your bridesmaids’ gown beneath a white lace overlay. Decorate napkins at each place in coordinating
    fabric ribbon.
  11. Embroider an elegant pillow for your ring bearer to carry down the aisle. Your names and the dates artfully stitched at the bottom will be a lasting reminder of your loving union.
  12. Fill the flower girl’s basket with petals from the flowers in your mother’s or grandmother’s garden.
  13. Incorporate your favourite music into the prelude before the ceremony.
  14. After you’ve selected your wedding rings, arrange to have them engraved with a personal message.
  15. Delight your parents, or his, with a nostalgic look back at their own wedding day. Surprise them by displaying their wedding portrait at your reception.
  16. Invite the clergy who knew you as a child to participate in the ceremony.
  17. For your first dance as husband and wife, have the band play the first song the two of you ever danced together or the song that was playing when he proposed to you.
  18. Give your attendants a silver frame engraved with your wedding date and later present them with a
    photograph from the day to proudly display inside it.
  19. Send your fiancé a romantic telegram /SMS/ even a handwritten note the morning of your wedding.
  20. Make it a family affair; include members of both your families in the wedding. Consider asking a brother or cousin to give an inspirational reading at the ceremony, making it a family affair.
  21. Make your favourite flower the centre of all the floral arrangements at the wedding and reception.
    Then set the mood in your new home by having similar arrangements delivered the day you return from your honeymoon.
  22. As an alternative to traditional bouquets, let your bridesmaids carry the flower of their choice. Tied with matching ribbons, the varied look will be colourful and refreshing.
  23. Hire a professional calligrapher to address your wedding invitations in a flowing, romantic script.
  24. Design an elegant printed program to pass to your guests before the ceremony begins. Include the order of service, your attendants’ names and perhaps a personal message of thanks from you two.
  25. Just before you enter the church, have the organist sound the chimes of the hour. Follow that with a trumpet salute as you begin your processional down the aisle.
  26. Take the time to select a romantic gift for the groom such as a book of poetry or an engraved silver pen.
  27. Compile a small photo album of favourite pictures from your courtship to surprise him with on your honeymoon.

A style guide for the wedding guest king

Gentlemen, you’ve received a wedding invitation in the mail. It will take place next Saturday at Windsor. Fantastic. Weddings are great events for goal-oriented men. For a couple of reasons;

  • If you happen to be single, a wedding is the ultimate social event for you as a man. It’s guaranteed to be full of quite a few beautiful single ladies. And nothing screams romance more than meeting your future wife at a wedding. The two of you will tell that story to your children forever.
  • Weddings are the perfect networking opportunities. Whether you’re an entrepreneur or in employment, a wedding of your peers is guaranteed to have the type of crowd that is ripe with opportunity.
  • Weddings, essentially, are parties. And if you’ve been having a rough time during the week, a wedding is the perfect place to unwind and relax with friends and family.

Now being the man that you are, I’ll presume that you fully understand the importance of making a powerful impression so as to take advantage of the above opportunities. Since you understand the why, let’s move into the how.

How exactly do you go about doing that? By dressing extremely sharp, of course.

And I’m not talking about wearing a suit. Suits tend to look extremely dull for functions such as weddings. You want to light up the event as soon as you stroll into the reception. But at the same time, you want to do it in a luxurious way.

Now, you’re probably thinking, “I’m a man. I’m not into fashion. Who has the time to start coordinating outfits? I have more important things to do. Like, make money.”

I feel you. But hear me out for just a second. You don’t have to be a fashion expert to look spectacular as a man. In fact, it’s easy to look like you have access to your own personal stylist.

Simply wear a single statement piece while keeping the rest of the outfit simple. That will help give the appearance of a sophisticated gentleman who’s not trying too hard. They call it the art of Sprezzatura.

Let me show you with the aid of an example. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Well then, here’s a video worth ten thousand words.

Style is a portrayal of your unique personality as well as your values. If you’re a special gentleman who values quality, then those values should be on display within your outfit. Without you having to say a word. You won’t actually be able to say a word initially. You know what they say about first impressions.

An elevated sense of style will put bring more opportunities to the table and put more money in your pocket. Partly due to the newfound self-confidence you will feel. Mostly due to the impression you will leave on others.

So you’ve got to make the necessary investment in yourself. Not just in your clothes but in your shoes and fragrance as well. Take you’re a-game.

The idea is that heads will turn immediately you stroll into the event. And minds will never forget you once you leave.

 

Article by Peter Okatch. Kingmaker at King Sidney.

 

6 things a magnificent wedding jacket will do for you.

So you’re getting married. Congratulations. You’ve selected your future wife. And she’s perfect. It’s time now to select your wedding blazer as the groom. And it’s got to continue along the same lines of perfect selection that you’ve already begun.

Now if you’re like most men then you’re probably thinking, no big deal. I’ll slap on a suit and be done with it. However, if you’re not like most men, then that just won’t do. If you’re the type of gentleman that loves top-notch quality. The type that loves to look unique. The type that wants a jacket you’ll be able to wear on multiple special occasions after the wedding. Then you know deep down that there are certain major advantages to rocking a unique high-quality piece on your big day.

Let’s take a quick look at 6 of those powerful advantages.

  1. Self-confidence.

Let me tell you a quick story. I undertook my undergraduate degree at USIU-Africa. It’s a wonderful institution. I’d recommend it to anyone.

Now, in USIU we had group presentations where one would be required to go stand in front of the class and give a presentation of an assignment your group had been tasked with. My very first presentation was absolutely nerve-wracking.

I had never done any form of public speaking before. Standing in front of a class of 30 people was probably one of the most daunting things I’d ever done in my life up until that point.

As time went on I got progressively better. You should’ve seen me at my last presentation three and a half years later. You’d have been so proud. I had transitioned into a true public speaking master.

What’s the moral of the story? Standing in front of a podium at your own wedding can feel just as intimidating.

Only instead of the 30 classmates, you’ll be standing in front of over 500 people. Most of them strangers. An exceptional groom blazer from the wedding is just the adrenaline shot required to glide through the event.

The second you slip on the jacket in front of the mirror on the morning of the wedding, you’ll be so self-confident that you won’t care how many people will be watching. As a matter of fact, the more the merrier.

You’ll have them staring in admiration at your remarkable sense of style.

wedding blazer for the groom

2. Amplify attraction in your new wife.

You already have her. She’s yours. However, now is not the time to get lazy.

Anyone who has ever built a business from the ground up will tell you. The journey to becoming number one is very difficult. Then once you’re at the top, the struggle to stay there is even harder.

Relationships, in my opinion, are a bit like building a business.

What you achieved three years ago doesn’t mean much today. New day, new goal. And your new goal is to prevent long-term boredom and keep things fresh.

I recall during my wedding how proud my wife was of how good I looked. She couldn’t get enough of me. Just check out the look she kept giving me throughout the wedding. I knew I was in for fun times ahead.

designer wedding blazer for the groom in Kenya

It had me thinking, “Let’s end this party quickly, this young lady and I have things to do.”

Months after the wedding, she would still occasionally bring up how handsome I looked on the day. And you know how we men are. We love compliments.

I actually feel like my wedding jacket set off our marriage in the right direction because she appreciated the effort I had put in to ensure that I showed everyone she made the right choice.

Speaking of everyone.

3. Blow away your in-laws and earn their respect.

An electrifying wedding jacket for you as the groom is the perfect way to inspire respect in your in-laws. And here’s why.

Your in-laws don’t know you. All they know about you is that their daughter has chosen you. Therefore, it’s this group that is most likely to judge you based purely on your appearance.

If you dress plainly in a plain suit, they’ll feel like there’s nothing interesting or refreshing about you. They’ll immediately begin to have doubts at the back of their minds.

However, if you step in with a unique groom blazer for the wedding, they’ll begin to understand why she may have picked someone like you over everyone else.

luxury garden wedding kenya4. Make your family proud.

Your in-laws won’t be the only family impressed by the seriousness by which you’ve taken the occasion. Your family will also be very proud of you for representing them in the right way.

My mum and I have an ordinary African mother and son relationship. That essentially means compliments are dished out once in a decade. Based only on very special accomplishments. So to hear my mum tell me I looked very good was probably the most gratifying thing I have heard in a long time.

It lifted my spirits through the roof. And which groom do you know who wouldn’t like their spirits lifted on their big day?

luxury wedding jacket for the groom

5. Inspire regret in the exes.

One or two of your ex-girlfriends might be in attendance. It’s a wedding, you can’t really block out anyone. A couple of her ex-boyfriends might also attend.

You want an aesthetic that has the ladies thinking, “How the heck did I let that one get away.” And one that says to her ex-boyfriends, “Look at that dude! I now see why I never really stood a chance.”

Inasmuch as you will not be dressing up for them, or with them in mind, it’s a nice side effect to have.

6. Inspire your groomsmen.

There’s a saying that goes something like this. “The best way to teach something is to be an example of it.”

Some of your groomsmen may not be particularly interested in gifting their girlfriends with a wedding. For whatever personal reasons. But as they file into your house in the morning and see both your aesthetic and your self-confidence, their minds will slowly begin to open.

The second they see you strut down the aisle looking like a billionaire in your wedding jacket, it’ll be a done deal. Expect an invitation to their weddings shortly after.

And the versatility of an ideal wedding jacket means you can wear the exact same blazer as a guest to their wedding. Whenever that will be, you’ll be ready.

wedding groomsmen

Luxury wedding jacket for the groom exclusive to King Sidney.